A man walks into a doctor’s office. He has a ...

A man walks into a doctor’s office. He has a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left ear and a banana in his right ear. “What’s the matter with me?” he asks the doctor. The doctor replies, “You’re not eating properly.”

This is a popular joke among British schoolchildren. It reflects Britain’s famous dry and satirical way of seeing the funny side of life. This unique sense of humor is often cited as one of Britain’s defining national characteristics.

“The famous British sense of humor has long been our most cherished national characteristic,” says the British journalist Leo Mckinstry. “We have valued it above historic military victories and great works of literature, above our rich scenic landscape and our talent for invention.”

The British sense of humor differs from other countries because it is generally more negative. When it comes to making the British laugh, there is nothing more effective than a socially inappropriate joke.

Popular British comedy shows such as Fawlty Towers, Blackadder and The office are full of sarcasm(讽刺), teasing and self-deprecation(自嘲). It reflects the culture where mocking, moaning and ridicule is part of everyday life.

While most Britons don’t take these jokes too seriously, foreigners are often puzzled by them. A recent survey found that most foreigners who visited Britain found that the British are “arrogant, unfriendly and have almost no sense of humor”.

Do foreigners not understand British humor or are the British just not as funny as they think they are? Mckinstry certainly thinks the British are funny. “Accusing the British of having no sense of humor is like telling Rolls-Royce that its cars are down-market.” he says.

1.What does the doctor actually mean by the remark, “You’re not eating properly”?

A. What you have had is the cause of these problems.

B. You are not having the right food.

C. You don’t eat the way people usually do.

D. You eat with the wrong cutlery(餐具)

2.The word “dry” in Paragraph 2 means _________.

A. without water or liquid inside

B. special and popular among school children

C. dull and meaningless

D. pretending to be serious when really joking

3.Why do most visitors, who once visited Britain , think that the British are unfriendly?

A. Because the British always take things seriously.

B. Because the British have no sense of humor.

C. Because the British are cold and difficult to get along with

D. Because the British have a different sense of humor

4.Which of the following are NOT the characteristics of British humor?

A. Dry and satirical　 　　 　　 B. Negative and mocking

C. Encouraging and gentle　　 D. Clever and witty

高二英语阅读理解中等难度题查看答案及解析

If you were to walk up to Arthur Bonnet and say, “Hey, Butterfly Man,” his face would break into a smile. The title suits him. And he loves it.

Arthur Bonner works with the Palos Verdes blue butterfly, once thought to have died out. Today the butterfly is coming back—thanks to him. But years ago if you’d told him this was what he'd be doing someday, he would have laughed, “You’re crazy.” As a boy, he used to be “a little tough guy on the streets”. At age thirteen, he was caught by police stealing. At eighteen, he landed in prison for shooting a man.

“I knew it had hurt my mom,” Bonner said after he got out of prison. “So I told myself I would not put my mom through that pain again.”

One day he met Professor Mattoni, who was working to rebuild the habitat for an endangered butterfly called EI Segundo blue.

“I saw the sign ‘Butterfly Habitat’ and asked, “How can you have a habitat when the butterflies can just fly away?” Bonner recalls. “Dr. Mattoni laughed and handed me a magnifying glass（放大镜）. “Look at the leaves.” I could see all these caterpillars（蝴蝶的幼虫）on the plant. Dr Mattoni explained, “Without the plant, there are no butterflies.”

Weeks later, Bonner received a call from Dr. Mattoni, who told him there was a butterfly needed help. That was how he met the Palos Verdes blue. Since then he’s been working for four years to help bring the butterfly back. He grows astragalus, the only plant the butterfly eats. He collects butterflies and brings them into a lab to lay eggs. Then he puts new butterflies into the habitat.

The butterfly’s population, once almost zero, is now up to 900. For their work, Bonner and Dr. Matoni received lots of awards. But for Bonner, he earned something more: he turned his life around.

For six years now Bonner has kept his promise to stay out of prison. While he’s bringing back the Palos Verdes blue, the butterfly has helped bring him back, too.

1.Bonner came to know the Palos Verdes blue after he ________.

A. found the butterfly had died out

B. won many prizes from his professor

C. met Dr. Mattoni, a professor of biology

D. collected butterflies and put them into a lab

2.From the passage we know that before Bonnet met Professor Mattoni, he was ________.

A. interested in butterflies　　 B. a tough boy on the streets

C. known as Butterfly Man　　 D. a good student in a university

3.From the last sentence of the text, we learn that raising butterflies has ________.

A. made Bonner famous　　 B. changes Bonnet’s life

C. brought Bonner wealth　　 D. enriched Bonner’s knowledge

4.Which of the following would be the best title for the text?

A. A Promise to Mom　　 B. A Story of Butterflies

C. A Man Saved by Butterflies　　 D. A Job Offered by Dr. Mattoni

高二英语阅读理解中等难度题查看答案及解析

If you were to walk up to Arthur Bonner and say, “Hey, Butterfly Man,” his face would break into a smile. The title suits him.，and he loves it.

Arthur Bonner works with the Palos Verdes blue butterfly, once thought to have died out. Today the butterfly is coming back — thanks to him. But years ago if you’d told him this was what he’d be doing someday, he would have laughed, “You’re crazy.” As a boy, he used to be “a little tough guy on the streets”. At age thirteen, he was caught by police stealing. At eighteen, he landed in prison for shooting a man.

“I knew it had worried my mom,” Bonner said after he got out of prison. “So I told myself I would not put my mom through that pain again.”

One day he met Professor Mattoni, who was working to rebuild the habitat(栖息地) for an endangered butterfly called El Segundo blue.

“I saw the sign ‘Butterfly Habitat’ and asked, ‘How can you have a habitat when the butterflies can just fly away?’” Bonner recalls. “Dr. Mattoni laughed and handed me a magnifying glass (放大镜), ‘Look at the leaves.’ I could see all these caterpillars(蝴蝶的幼虫) on the plant. Dr Mattoni explained, ‘Without the plant, there are no butterflies.’”

Weeks later, Bonner received a call from Dr. Mattoni, who told him there was a butterfly that needed help. That was how he met the Palos Verdes blue. Since then he’s been working for four years to help bring the butterfly back. He grows astragalus, the only plant the butterfly eats. He collects butterflies and brings them into a lab to lay eggs. Then he puts new butterflies into the habitat.

The butterfly’s population, once almost zero, is now up to 900. For their work, Bonner and Dr. Mattoni received lots of awards. But for Bonner, he earned something more: he turned his life around.

For six years now Bonner has kept his promise to stay out of prison. While he’s bringing back the Palos Verdes blue, the butterfly has helped bring him back, too.

1.When he was young, Arthur Bonner _______.

A. broke the law and ended up in prison

B. was fond of shooting and hurt his mom

C. often laughed at people on the streets

D. often caught butterflies and took them home

2.Bonner came to know the Palos Verdes blue after he _______.

A. found the butterfly had died out

B. won many prizes from his professor

C. met Dr. Mattoni, a professor of biology

D. collected butterflies and put them into a lab

3.From the last sentence of the text, we learn that raising butterflies has _______.

A. made Bonner famous　　 　 B. changed Bonner’s life

C. brought Bonner wealth　　 D. enriched Bonner’s knowledge

高二英语阅读理解困难题查看答案及解析

The minute Joe Serna walked into the Veterans Treatment Court, he could feel his shoulders tense up. He had come to turn himself in (自首).

Six months earlier, Serna had been arrested for driving after drinking and was required to report to Judge Lou Olivera’s court every two weeks to take a test and prove he hadn’t been drinking. Serna had passed every biweekly screening—until the week before. Positive. He decided to try to bluff his way out of trouble. “I never had a drink, Judge,” he told the court.

^Both Joe Serna and Judge Olivera were old soldiers, and Olivera had come to know and admire Serna as he participated in the court’s program to help old soldiers with drinking and addiction problems. And that was what had brought Serna back to Olivera’s court a week after his lie. “This guy is a fellow soldier,” he told himself. “I need to make this right.” So Serna stood before Olivera and admitted, “I lied, Judge. I was drinking.”

After countless combats and the memories of many “best buddies” losing their lives, 39-year-old Joe Serna left the army in 2013 with 18 years of service. But in truth, the terrible memories had never left him and would reappear in nightmares. And that’s the reason for his drinking. To this day, being stuck in a closed space can cause flashbacks (突然重现) for Serna.

On the day when Serna admitted he had lied about drinking, the judge was moved and decided on the punishment: one night in jail.

The next night, Joe Serna was in a small cell and felt he would soon be flashing back to a terrible war. Then the door opened, and Judge Olivera came in. Serna was confused. But a few minutes later, he understood the judge had decided to spend the night with him. The two talked for hours about their service, their families, and their hopes for the future. At around one in the morning, Serna fell asleep. “He will be OK now,” the judge said to himself as he rolled up his shirt into a makeshift pillow.

1.Which can best replace the underlined words in the second paragraph?

A. explain without being disturbed　　 B. get away with his wrong-doing

C. give the court a little trouble　　 D. give up drinking in future

2.What made Serna decide to turn himself in?

A. His sickness in his shoulders.　　 B. His admiration for Olivera.

C. Olivera’ s help and identity.　　 D. The advice of Serna’s family.

3.What can we know about Joe Sema?

A. He didn’t admit his fault and thus got punished.

B. He lost his life direction and got himself drunk often.

C. He had planned to talk more with Olivera in the cell.

D. He joined the army when he was 21 years old.

4.What would be the best title for the text?

A. An Army of Two　　 B. A Considerate Judge

C. Two Soldiers’ War Experience　　 D. Honesty Is the Best Policy

高二英语阅读理解中等难度题查看答案及解析

What do we know about the man?

A.He doesn’t like his job.

B.He will not give up his job.

C.He has a large family to support.

高二英语短对话中等难度题查看答案及解析

A businessman walks into a bank in San Francisco and asks for the loan officer. He says he is going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000．The bank officer says　 the bank will need some kind of security for such a loan. So the businessman hands over the keys to a Rolls Royce parked on the street in front of the bank. Everything checks out, and the bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. An employee drives the Rolls into the bank’s underground garage and parks it there.

Two weeks later, the businessman returns, and repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41.

The loan officer says, “We are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is that why would you bother to borrow $5,000?”

Laughing, the businessman replies, “Where else in San Francisco can I park my car for two weeks for $15?”

1.The businessman walks into the bank with the true purpose of _________.

A. borrowing $5,000　　 B. meeting the loan officer

C. finding a place to park his car　　 D. showing how rich he is

2.The loan officer is puzzled because _________.

A. he never thought he could meet a multimillionaire in his bank

B. he thinks the businessman is crazy to leave his car in the bank

C. he never thought the businessman could drive a Rolls Royce

D. he thinks $5,000 is so small a sum of money to the businessman

3.The underlined word “collateral” in Paragraph 1 most probably means “_________”.

A. security　　 B. payment

C. reward　　 D. deal

4.Which of the following words can best describe the businessman according to the story?

A. Honest.　　 B. Clever.

C. Rich.　　 D. Kind.

高二英语阅读理解简单题查看答案及解析

The old man walked with a cane（拐杖）slowly into the restaurant. His poor jacket

patched（打补丁）trousers and worn-out shoes made him stand out from the usual Saturday morning breakfast crowd. Unforgettable were his pale blue eyes that sparkled like diamonds，large rosy cheeks，and thin lips held in a steady smile.

He walked towards a table by the window. A young waitress watched him and ran over to him， saying，“Here, Sir. Let me give you a hand with that chair”

Without a word，he smiled and nodded a thank you. She pulled the chair away from the table. Steadying him with one arm， she helped him move in front of the chair， and get comfortably seated. Then she pushed the table up close to him，and learned his cane against the table where he could reach it.

In a soft，clear voice he said, “Thank you, Miss”

“You are welcome, Sir.” she replied，“My name is Mary. I’ll be back in a moment. If you need anything, just wave at me.”

After he had finished a hearty meal of pancakes，bacon，and hot lemon tea，Mary brought him the change, helping him up from his chair and out from behind the table. She handed him his cane， and walked with him to the front door. Holding the door open for him, she said, “Come back and see us, Sir.”

He nodded a thank you and said softly with a smile, “You are very kind！”

When Mary went to clean his table，she was shocked. Under his plate she found a business card and a note written on the napkin, under which was a 100$ bill.

The note on the napkin read，“Dear Mary，I respect you very much， and you respect yourself，too. It shows by the way you treat others. You have found the secret of happiness. Your kind gestures will shine through those who meet you. ”

The man she had served was the owner of the restaurant. This was the first time that she，or any of his employees, had seen him in person.

1.Mary ran over to the old man because___________

A. the old man was the boss of the restaurant

B. she saw the old man had some difficulty moving and taking a seat

C. she was worried that the old man might cause trouble to the restaurant

D. the old man had asked her wait on him

2.The old man came to the restaurant to_______

A. have breakfast　　 B. find out how his restaurant was working

C. see his employees　　 D. see how Mary served customers

3.The words the man left on the napkin indicates that_________

A. serving others is a respectable job

B. Mary would get a rise as a result of her kindness

C. respecting others means respecting oneself

D. Mary’ s kind service would bring in more money for her.

4.Based on the passage, all of the following words can be used to describe Mary EXCEPT______

A. kind　　 B. considerate

C. calm　　 D. helpful

高二英语阅读理解中等难度题查看答案及解析

A man walked into a small Irish pub and ordered three beers. Bartender was surprised, but he served that man three beers. One hour later the man ordered three beers again. The very next day that man ordered three beers again and drank quietly at a table. This repeated several times and shortly after the people of the town were whispering about the man, who was ordering three beers at once.

A couple of weeks later, the bartender decided to clear this out and inquired: “I do not want to pry, but could you explain, why do you order three beers all the time?” The man replied: “It seems strange, isn’t it? You see, my two brothers live abroad at the moment, one – in France and another – in Italy. We have made an agreement, that every time we go to pub each of us will order extra two beers and it will help keeping up the family bond”.

Soon all the town have heard about the man’s answer and liked it a lot. The man became a local celebrity. Residents of the town were telling this story to newcomers or tourists and even invited them to that pub to look at Three Beer Man.

However, one day the man came to pub and ordered only two beers, not three as usual. The bartender served him with bad feeling. All that evening the man ordered and drank only two beers. The very next day all the town was talking about this news, some people pray for the soul of one of the brothers, others quietly grieve.

When the man came to pub the next time and ordered two beers again, the bartender asked him: “I would like to offer condolences to you, due to the death of your dear brother”. The man considered this for a moment and then replied: “Oh, you are probably surprised that I order only two beers now? Well, my two brothers are alive and well. It’s just because of my decision. I promised myself to give up drinking.”

1.The man ordered three beers all the time because ________.

A. people were fond of drinking beers in this pub

B. he missed his two brothers living abroad very much

C. it was an agreement with his brothers to keep up the family bond

D. this would help him become a local celebrity

2.We can infer from the passage that ________.

A. news traveled fast in the town

B. the man became famous in the town because he was a heavy drinker

C. the man’s brothers liked drinking beer very much

D. the man was strong-minded to give up drinking

3.The bartender served the man with bad feeling because ________.

A. he would earn less money

B. he thought the man should order three beers

C. he thought one of the man’s brothers had passed away

D. the man decided to drink two beers

4.The underlined word “condolences” in the last paragraph can be replaced by ________.

A. gratitude        B. appreciation        C. surprise            D. sympathy

高二英语阅读理解中等难度题查看答案及解析

What does the man mean?

A. He will eat out with the woman.

B. He will have dinner at his office.

C. He will stop his work at 8:00.

高二英语短对话简单题查看答案及解析

Why was the man walking in the rain?

A. He lost his umbrella.

B. He forgot to take the umbrella.

C. He wore a raincoat.

高二英语短对话中等难度题查看答案及解析